Post-India Mood and Pocketbook

With our recent transition from a two-income household to a one-income and freelance income household, I have renewed my commitment to my post-India mood.

Since our plane landed back into the land of the plenty, it’s been easier for me to rid myself of the  grateful heart I felt six months ago and 7,000 miles away. Mercifully, recent mornings in central North Carolina have heralded new insights and a wood smoke smell that reminds me of the foggy, pre-dawn street fires we inhaled each morning in Vrindavan, India. By grace, my spirit has been reawakened to those moments of living so simply.

When you transport yourself back to a place where circumstances are more challenging than your own, it becomes more obvious to operate out of state of abundance rather than scarcity. New situations at home may force you to make budget cuts and feel financially pinched, but you remain thankful for all you have.

And, compared with those who are food, housing, and water insecure in America and India, Fred and I have plenty.

Still, living in a consumerist, capitalistic culture is tricky. Feeling like you have so little comes naturally.

Two weeks ago, while shopping with a Best Buy gift card, I became overwhelmed with the inventory and said to Fred, “I feel so inadequate.” “Exactly” he responded. “You’re supposed to.” “They’re counting on it. ”

I am grateful to be married to IT guru who has a Hindu guru. Fred is excellent at what he does for a living–but he’s completely detached from the material aspect of the technological/consumerist game.

I’m more vulnerable to the emotions spurred from my material desires. Thankfully, these recent smoky mornings have helped me remember the quaint village on the other side of the world that Fred so lovingly introduced to–the one that softened my hardened western Protestant heart.

Editor’s Note: After I wrote this post, I learned that there is a wildfire blazing in eastern North Carolina. Winds are causing the fireside smell (and air pollution warnings). So much for the “auspicious” reminders of Vrindavan. Oh, well.